Our Story

Elitzium began with an ambitious goal: to become the greatest novelty goods empire in existence.  Rising from its humble beginnings as a multi-billion-dollar government think-tank over 9000 ago, Elitzium now sets the standard for quality and ingenuity in the novelty industry. 

We work closely with (galactically) local, family-owned factories to bring you the funniest, most surreal, and highest quality novelty products available on the market. On top of our lust for total domination of the novelty market, Elitzium also owns and operates 97% of the planet’s fresh-water wells, and the six largest and deepest aluminum strip mines to ever be dug. 

We hope you enjoy our products as much as we do.

Our principles

creativity & Imagination

We make things up out of thin air because that’s where all the best ideas live. 

integrity & trust

Doing the right thing when others are looking ensures that we are perceived as trustworthy and honest.

Lust for Power

We will never stop growing and taking more.

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